who (and how) i am

This is close to being my third attempt at continuously running a website/blog, and I can really only say that I hope this one goes better than the last two. I have a harsh addiction to starting something and then not being able to fully commit to it, and it shows in most of the things that I do. However, I'm determined to make this something different.

I also have a difficult time introducing myself. It's hard to get past the basics, of the who and how I am who I am. However, I want people to know more; maybe I feel like I owe it to you or something, I'm not really sure. In order to get to that point, I've listed 5 things that describe me in the most accurate ways I can.

1. I love to write.

I'm fairly certain this one is the most obvious, but I felt it necessary to proclaim nonetheless. Ever since I was little, I found words to be the most profound way of feeling. And not spoken words, my anxiety hardly let me get very far in speaking; but something about writing came easier to me than anything else. I read books and dove into the worlds, into the sentences, finding myself between the pages, designing my own character (hint, it's me). God made me, but books made me figure out who I wanted to be.

That being said, I believe wholeheartedly in the power of words. I did my senior thesis project on the power of visual art, and I will be repeating myself quite a bit when I say that words have more power in this world than most actions. Words contain the strength to break a heart or heal it; to shatter dreams, or inspire them. Words can create or obstruct a connection, they can build defenses or deconstruct them. Don't take the power of language for granted.

2. I am restless.

Restlessness is a foreign subject for most, but something that I am fairly acquainted with. The feeling of being so overly equipped to take on the rest of the world, but not being able to go out and see it for yourself is familiar. It's almost like being trapped, in a very big cage, but it's still not big enough. Hard to understand, I know, and it's even harder to put into words. Nevertheless, I rely on this feeling quite often, as it is a driving motivational force that keeps me going. When I finish my work here, I can move on. Something I tell myself quite often, actually, and it excites me; it keeps me going.

3. I am passionate.

Most people who know me know that when I get an idea stuck in my head, I obsess over it for months, or even years before I can make it happen. And sometimes, I regret the thing almost immediately. (i.e. copious amounts of different hair colors can attest to this.) I love politics, the environment, people, social issues, art, and music. I'm obsessed with working hard, and my greatest satisfaction comes from crossing out everything on my to do list. No matter whether it is a small thing or a large thing, I quite like this part of who I am.

See, I believe that in my life, my career, and anything that follows, if my whole heart is not fully invested in the things I spend my time on, I will consider it a waste. Life is too short to be stuck in a job that I hate, to not buy the plane ticket when I want to go somewhere, or to put things aside because it's "not the right time". Any moment could be my last, and I won't have a "better time" to do something when I'm dead. Might as well do it now.

4. I am ambitious.

Overly ambitious, probably. I love shooting for things that everyone else may say are completely unreachable. I see no problem with this, as it motivates me to do a better job at everything I do now. I have high expectations for where I see myself in a year, 5 years, or 30 years from now. And I know that it won't always happen the way I hope that it does, but high expectations creates higher motivation to be successful in the present. It is the way that I function, and I'm quite proud of it.

There are some downfalls, however. Disappointment creeps in when things don't work exactly in my favor. However, new doors are always opened, and I see them all as incredible opportunities regardless.

5. I am Christian.

This, lastly, is by far the most important one on this list. Not only does my religion define me, but it presents itself in everything I do, or at least, that's the goal. I'm not perfect, and I don't try to be. But if I'm not living and breathing and doing for Christ, then what is it all for?

I could go into a million different ways in which my life with God in it changes and impacts me every single day, but I don't want to. My faith is my own, and there is no way to describe the endless ways in which God's love finds itself intertwined in my days, but I will tell anyone who is willing to listen about the goodness of Jesus Christ. You need only ask.

That also being said, I love talking about God. If you don't like reading or listening to me talk about God, then don't read.

You will come to know me more and more through the things that I publish, but these are some things that I am self aware of that I believe have to be said about my character. Far more than shallow, "get to know me" characteristics, these are the reasons why I get out of bed each and every morning, and so knowing them, you know me.

I'm excited to continue this and see where it takes me. I'll be publishing pieces of work that I do, both for my classes, and in my own personal work, and I'm beyond ecstatic to start building a platform for myself to demonstrate my heart and my mind all the same. Thank you for supporting, reading, and paying attention.

E

#foreignculture #photojournalism