mshiha qam

Mshiha qam: Aramaic for "He is risen".

I watched "The Passion of the Christ" for the first time on Good Friday. For those of you who have seen this movie already, you may have already guessed that the film absolutely wrecked me. For those of you who have not yet seen the film, I highly recommend it.

What I didn't realize was how great of an affect this movie, and this holy week in general, would have on me and my faith. Lately, I've felt as though I've been in what us Christians sometimes call a "spiritually dry" season. For me, it typically means that I go through periods where the idea of praying, going to church, or praising God for all He has done sounds exhausting. There's a fire that comes with the joy of being passionate about my religion, but sometimes, that fire burns out and I feel nothing but depletion; it's like all of the hope and joy I once felt has dried up and left me with nothing but doubts and questions and an urge to just never return.

This week has been unlike anything I've felt before, and I thought, what better time to talk about it than Easter day -- the day that my Lord and Savior rose from the dead and therefore overturned the old covenant, and everything we previously knew about our faith in general.

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Adonai.

I first want to discuss this name. Adonai is the Hebrew name for God, and one of my favorite words in the entire English (or I guess Hebrew) language. I love the simplicity and the beauty that is resonated when this name is spoken.

I bought a book last semester for a theology class of mine called "God Is" by Mark Jones. It is an incredible devotional guide to the attributes of God and it provides amazing insight into the characteristics of God. Of course, our small minds could never understand the true capacity of all that God is but this book manages to provide at least a little bit of an understanding.

One chapter in particular discusses the goodness of God and this one resonated with me the most. In this chapter, he depicts God's goodness in a way I had never previously thought of before: "The Father forsook his Son for a moment in order that the Father would never forsake us, a promise Christ never received."

He also says, "The highest gift possible for the Father to bestow on his people was that of his Son, the one whom he showed, for a period, less goodness than he showed to vile, God-hating sinners like you and me."

This quote forced me to stop and revel in the fact that Adonai loved us so much that He decided to show more love for us than for His very own Son. What love could possibly compare to that of God's?

One of the first verses I ever had to memorize in Sunday School was John 3:16, and I guarantee I'm not the only one.

"For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life."

This verse recently took on a whole new meaning for me. God loved the world and all of its inhabitants, even us lowly sinners so much that he sacrificed his only Son, Jesus Christ, to a pain stricken death because He promised us eternal life and redemption.

Incredible, isn't it?

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Yeshua.

Now let's talk about Jesus.

It's hard for me to find all the right words to talk about Christ, because no words could ever equate to all that He is and was, and no words in all of the English language could describe all that He means to me. He is the Son of God, a piece in the Holy Trinity, the Word of God, Son of Man, and Savior of the universe. We can also start with this: Jesus is alive.

He was crucified, dead, and buried, and was resurrected on the third day and sits at the right hand of God in heaven. That is quite a bit to unpack though, and a lot of what was said there is basic truth. You hear it all the time if you're a Christian, and a lot of the time, it becomes something that we say without fully diving into what it means and why we believe in it.

Jesus was crucified. The movie I watched on Friday put this image into a whole new perspective that left me breathless and shaken with tear-stained cheeks. I was overwhelmed by the brutality of Jesus' punishment. It was very apparent to me suddenly that this man died for me and the reality of all that He is to me brought me to my knees.

"But he was wounded for our transgressions; he was crushed for our iniquities; upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace, and with his stripes we are healed." Isaiah 53:5

Another aspect of truth that was brought to my attention recently was the similarity of me and the Apostle Peter. In the Gospels, Peter is one of Jesus' disciples, and a typically faithful servant. When Jesus was being put on trial by the high priest and the Jewish leaders, Peter was asked if he knew the man chained up before him. Three times, Peter denied Jesus in front of the audience, but Jesus already knew what Peter was going to say the whole time.

Growing up, I always looked upon Peter as though I was somehow more dignified than he. I would ask, "How could he?", completely forgetting that even though Peter seemed so holy and righteous, he was just a man. Just like I am just a woman.

I have asked myself now, how many times have I denied my relationship with Jesus Christ? How many times have I looked into all that Jesus is and said, "I don't know Him." And more than that, how many times have I said, "I don't want to know him." How many times have I broken my savior's heart with my words and actions? It breaks my own heart to know the truth.

"For whoever finds me finds life and obtains favor from the Lord, but he who fails to find me injures himself; all who hate me love death.” Proverbs 8:35-36

I read something this morning that brought tears to my eyes again (which is something that's happening a lot more often than I would probably like to admit). It said, "Many turn from Jesus because of a bad experience with Religious people. We must remind them that Jesus also had a bad experience with Religious people: he was crucified by them."

The same people that were supposed to be leading people to God through love and compassion condemned Jesus for blasphemy and strung his body up on a tree to die. Those same people that are supposed to symbolize the peace that comes with the love of God were the very people to order his unfair trial and demand that an innocent man be publicly beaten and murdered. those very people are no different than you or me.

And I suppose that is the point I am trying hardest to make in all of this. We are sinful by nature. My pastor this morning said, "the minute we were conceived in our mother's wombs, our sin began as well." There is no escape from the sin that we create, no alternative to the destruction that we cause.

But the hope that comes from this is that we are forgiven and redeemed, all because of one man's pain and suffering. No love on this entire planet can equate to the love that Jesus demonstrated for the people who were beating him, and all the people after who still turn away from him daily. It is the most overwhelming feeling I've ever come across, to think about how much my Lord adores me despite everything I do to disappoint Him.

"You are looking for Jesus the Nazarene, who was crucified. He has risen! He is not here." Mark 16:6

And this is the joy. When the spiritual leaders of the church laughed in his face and mocked him because he claimed to be the Messiah, they had no idea of whom they were mocking. And the day that Jesus rose from the dead, he told the disciples to go and spread the truth to all nations, and he started his exalted life as Christ and Lord.

And for this reason, we can be saved from our sins. Just as Peter was forgiven for his denial of Jesus, so we are forgiven for our sins and can only attempt to live our lives here in the best way. This was the turning point for me during this time. All of the things Jesus went through for me cannot go to waste and I'm determined to seek Him in all things, for the rest of my life.

I want to love others as Yeshua did, to weep because Jesus wept, and to fully appreciate just how great my life is because of Jesus Christ. This Easter, I want to appreciate everything that has been given to me, because Adonai loved me so much that he sent his Son to die so that I may be redeemed. He did the same for you, and I hope you know and understand that. You are loved. That is a sacrifice that cannot go unnoticed anymore.

And if you are feeling things like spiritual dryness, or perhaps it's just hard for you to comprehend the reality of what it means to be loved and saved by our Lord, I hope this helped a little bit. If you have never known the depth of what Easter means, I pray that you read this and understand it more. If you have questions or just want to talk, feel free to email me, I would love to speak with anyone who is interested.

Happy Easter and mshiha qam (He is risen)

em

emmamayer00@gmail.com

In Christ Jesus, then, I have reason to be proud of my work for God. Romans 15:17